Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Legion of Terra-Cotta Soldiers Discovered Below WDW

Briefly: Credible* news source The Onion is reporting that a very mysterious thing was just discovered at Disney World when a 'maintenance crew performing routine electrical work below Cinderella Castle last week accidentally stumbled upon a mysterious underground chamber believed to contain more than 8,000 terra-cotta Mouseketeer statues dating back to 300 B.C.'

It is reported that within days of the discovery, the nation's top archaeologists had begun excavating the massive subterranean army of fresh-faced clay youths, already considered the finest collection of relics from the Early Disney Dynasty ever unearthed.'

It is believed that this chamber is 'the final resting site of Emperor Retlaw I'. The rows upon rows of 'life-sized ceramic sculptures modeled after clean-cut teenagers' have their faces 'forever frozen in a mix of joy and wonder.'

Lead archaeologist Dr. Robert Moore had this to say about the discovery:

"Very little is known about the early history of the Disney civilization, so this is quite a significant find. By analyzing the crude markings above the doorway to the tomb, we've concluded that it was likely constructed during the Pre-Eisnerian period, one of the bloodiest and most chaotic eras in the history of the Magic Kingdom. These eternally wholesome soldiers stand watch over the body of their ironfisted leader, poised to ensure his reign over children's entertainment continues into the afterlife," Moore continued. "Or so the legend goes."

Above (courtesy of The Onion) is a detailed diagram of this recent uncovering.

Head over to The Onion which has a lot more information on this very interesting find underneath the Cinderella Castle in Florida.

*Ok, it's a joke. But a funny one.

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